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Shortly after 9:30, I arrived to get my makeup done by Liz, get into the suit with Heidi’s assistance, and went to work. Heidi and Rachel each came by and waved a few times. Once they even came by together and watched for a while as they ate a meal on the run and visited, but mostly it was just kids, kids, and more kids. On Thursday night, it was real slow. Must be a bad shopping day. I was sitting alone as my dinner-time approached, when I saw Rachel, wearing a Santa hat and a short red silk dress with white fur trim, stop and talk to the helpers. She had a little white bag. “I brought you a sandwich and a Coke,” she whispered. “Mind if I join you for dinner?” “Ho, ho, ho, little girl,” I bellowed as I reached for her arm. “What would you like for Christmas?” I pulled her onto my lap. Rachel giggled and climbed off. “You’d better eat while you can, Santa.” She hopped off my lap. I went with Rachel to the small lounge area where she produced a sandwich for each of us and the promised. For he 'would' be mine in my submission, just as I would be 'his' in his Domination. I want to trust him implicitly and I want to allow myself to be what my Dominant wants, while at the same time be taken to where, in his heart, he knows I want to go.I want to be able to submit myself to his will. I want to be free to do as he asks. I've thought about this a lot, and not just while masturbating. Most of what I see as 'humbling myself before my Dominant', is desirable to me.Smiles.I want to be his. And I want to be considered. I want communication and I want my sexuality to be expanded for his and my benefit. I want to rely on him and I don't want to feel guilty about it. Not because I am 'easily led', but because I want a genuine partnership.I want to find the safety and the structure within which I can be free. Free to be me. Free to become whoever I wish to be in the future. I don't know what I'm capable of doing or being. But I know I belong. From what I've read, from what I've.
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